For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize