This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Randomize
