too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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