Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
