i think my mom watched the whole time
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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