Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
