so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
