If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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