he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize