i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
