at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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