the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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