Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I cut my penus on the lid.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
