Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
