We should be called the Road Head Warriors
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
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