Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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