I have demons in me.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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