That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
