What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
