Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
