How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
