i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
