BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
