How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
