So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
