this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
