Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
