I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
