At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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