I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Drunk is not a location!
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
