so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Randomize
