i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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