Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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