good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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