Its about making memories worth repressing
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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