By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
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