i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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