yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
You smell like stripper and shame
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Randomize
