Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
