I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
