i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
