Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
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