I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
