where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
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