if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
