I can't breathe out the right side of my face
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Randomize
