just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
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