we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
The air taste purple.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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