For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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