One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
