David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
