I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
