Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
