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Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Drake has all the answers
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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