The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
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