Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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