So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Randomize
