We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
