just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
