I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
