Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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