Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
