i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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