I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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