I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize