used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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