id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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